I know you're a slut, but what's your costume?

Girl: "I'm a naughty ___________ "(insert civil occupation or arbitrary noun here: police officer, nurse, girl scout, pirate, maid, sorceress, bumble bee, little bo peep..etc)

"Oh are you? I thought you were uncreative, insulting, 1-dimensional and sloppy. But hey, that's just me."

Are some women so desperate for attention that they can't think of anything else to be on the one day of the calendar year its acceptable to be scary, cool, outrageous or funny? Three hundred and sixty-four days of the year are open for skank-wear. (And don't argue that cold weather months prevent showing a lot of skin, 'cause late October is always pretty damn cold.)

The argument that dressing slutty on any other day but Hallow's Eve will get you called a slut couldn't be more false. In fact it's a safe assumption that most of the women who do this are dressing like this pretty much year-round anyway. When people see a spade, they call it a spade, even if it's behind it's back.

Nightclubs and bars are just a couple venues where arriving rather risque is commonplace; even encouraged. Hell your own birthday is an occasion that provides an excuse to clad yourself in tit-bearing, ass-hugging attire. After all, it is a par-tay.

I'm not saying that dressing sexy is wrong. It's Halloween, it's fun, it's one night.
There is however, something wrong with someone who feels the urge to dress like a sexy whathaveyou--every single Halloween, year, after year, after year. And sometimes these sexy whathaveyous look like straight-up prostitutes.

For those of us females who've just wanted a real costume, I'm sure you've found yourself scanning the walls of the Halloween stores, multiple times, then leaving empty-handed (save for some cheap makeup or fake teeth). Halloween companies seem to have run out of fabric, and ideas.

Even when typing in "cool female halloween costumes" (sans the word female, too) in Google, I got the tramp-version of every costume imaginable. The only women wearing actual clothes and not lingerie were modeling plus-sized costumes. How sad is that?

I'm not saying you can't look pretty, cute or even sexy. Just rethink continuously turning a fun, holiday for kids into a T&A eye-candy fest...and reinforcing the expectation for females to slip into brainless, half-missing-costumes every October.

Subject officially ovaaa.