We all know and many of us "love", Ben and Jerry's icecream. I never claimed to love it, but, I would always grab some if other people were buying it, and was always quietly disappointed. The notion that Ben and Jerry's was the best, and everyone loooooved it, convinced me to even buy the same flavors, over and over, expecting each time to like it a little more. For years I remained silently unimpressed!
I believe the last demi-tub of B & J's I bought was called "Everything But The..."
As in, everything but the kitchen sink.. Get it? How very kitschy of them. I recall getting maybe 1/3 of the way through it, and having to stop.
Now I have a considerably high ice-cream tolerance. I can go through a gallon by myself in under a week. But something about the taste of the icecream itself was just, ehh, and all the shit they threw into it wasn't agreeing with me.
It got me thinking: I've never had a Ben and Jerry's icecream variety that I actually liked. And I've always paid a considerable amount more for it than I would for other types of icecream.
Let's review- We got mediocre (if not downright poor) quality icecream, packaged and sold in a piss-ant little container, at almost 4 bucks a pop, with tax.
What are you paying for?
These two are brilliant business men. They muster up cutesy, catchy names, ie- "Cherry Garcia" "Karamel Sutra" and, my recent favorite, "Yes, Pecan." accompanied by a picture of our president warmly smiling, as if approving of this exciting new flavor variety! They're not even trying to downplay the political agenda here. Why not get straight to the masses!?
Also, throwing in as many random icecream toppings possible and having them constitute 2/3 of the container helps. You know, that way you can't taste as much of their second-rate cream of ice.
So when you combine the clever titles + the over-sized, (occasionally fish-shaped) chocolate chips, excessive fudge, nuts, etc. + aesthetically-eye-catching designs, what do you get? A recipe for capitol success, thats what! It's kinda like a Michael Bay movie when you think about it. All style and no script. (No wonder they sell B & J's at the movie theatre!)
I realize also, that I am their target demographic...In the 20's age bracket; female; likely liberal- leaning in politics; and prone to icecream indulgence, especially during those womanly, emotional fits all females have that only a pint of icecream can cure. It's the perfect "for one" size!
You didn't pull the wool over my eyes, ya fags.
