The Murphy's Law of Retail {in the works}

-The moment you have the first bite of food your mouth has seen all day, a customer walks up to the desk. And there hasn't been a single customer for 2 hrs and 48 minutes.

-The moment you decide to sit down the phone rings. The phone is just out of arm's reach.

-After you get up and pick up the receiver, someone else has answered it.

-MTG (Magic the Gathering) gamers will hand you a 20 dollar bill for a 2 dollar purchase, (even better sometimes--a 50 for a 9 dollar purchase!) All 34 of them. In a single night.

-The toy of the screaming devilchild, who erupts into an ear-splitting fit when parted with his toy, is the only item that will not scan.
(Beep. Beep.)
Grandparents: "Hurry up and scan this one!"
(...No Beep...Still no beep.)
Auditory punishment UNLEASHED. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

-Train customers only show up when we close the Train Department early. (I.e- No train customers ALL DAY, so we close up there at 6 rather than 8. Flash forward 1 hour later, a family who drove from super far out of town just to see the Trains arrive. They came just to get their little boy a train and he was disabled (3rd degree burns and bandaged from head to toe) and had already climbed up our obnoxious flight of stairs only to find the door locked...
And it was his birthday. C'MON. Lifetime, were you in on this? I think you were.

-The computer only breaks when there is a customer or a long line.

-The biggest pain-in-the-ass customers, who take the longest to shop, are armed with a slew of unanswerable questions, and the most hesitation to buy, are the ones who stroll through the door 58 seconds before closing time.


unrelated notes:
~Brock Baker impressions cheer me up when I'm in a bad mood.
And so does this quote: "These things are as hot as a stiff cock!" (Meryl Streep as Julia Child)