The Murphy's Law of Retail {in the works}

-The moment you have the first bite of food your mouth has seen all day, a customer walks up to the desk. And there hasn't been a single customer for 2 hrs and 48 minutes.

-The moment you decide to sit down the phone rings. The phone is just out of arm's reach.

-After you get up and pick up the receiver, someone else has answered it.

-MTG (Magic the Gathering) gamers will hand you a 20 dollar bill for a 2 dollar purchase, (even better sometimes--a 50 for a 9 dollar purchase!) All 34 of them. In a single night.

-The toy of the screaming devilchild, who erupts into an ear-splitting fit when parted with his toy, is the only item that will not scan.
(Beep. Beep.)
Grandparents: "Hurry up and scan this one!"
(...No Beep...Still no beep.)
Auditory punishment UNLEASHED. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

-Train customers only show up when we close the Train Department early. (I.e- No train customers ALL DAY, so we close up there at 6 rather than 8. Flash forward 1 hour later, a family who drove from super far out of town just to see the Trains arrive. They came just to get their little boy a train and he was disabled (3rd degree burns and bandaged from head to toe) and had already climbed up our obnoxious flight of stairs only to find the door locked...
And it was his birthday. C'MON. Lifetime, were you in on this? I think you were.

-The computer only breaks when there is a customer or a long line.

-The biggest pain-in-the-ass customers, who take the longest to shop, are armed with a slew of unanswerable questions, and the most hesitation to buy, are the ones who stroll through the door 58 seconds before closing time.


unrelated notes:
~Brock Baker impressions cheer me up when I'm in a bad mood.
And so does this quote: "These things are as hot as a stiff cock!" (Meryl Streep as Julia Child)

ब्राइडल हेन्ना

I enjoy getting bridal henna in absence of any special occasion.

The walk

Just strollin through the forest.

Semi-organic, mostly healthy, IT'S ALL GOOD.

At first I was expecting the familiar, cardboardish, psuedo-sweet crap with a Hershey bar calorie equivalent...but this stuff was amazingly good.
[However, the "Smores" variety gets a thumbs down!] They work, too. Two LUNA bars gave me enough of an energy spike to go to my gym which I never go to...ironically enough it was closed when I got there.
At least now I've found something to munch on at work that's guaranteed to NOT suck.

-->Try the White Chocolate Macadamia variety too! It's worlds better than the aforementioned bar. The evil corporate giant Walmart has them for a 1.49. Not that I bought them there.

(I realize now that this entry reads like an advertisement...well it's not! Not intended to be anyways. No one pays me to write. Maybe I've just been working in retail toooo looonngg.)

Happy Fourth of Boredom at Work

So I work at the largest hobby store in New England. [We spend about 100,000 dollars a year on advertising, and still not many people know we exist. Local customers: "You need to advertise more!"]
I worked an 8 hour shift on America's birthday for no extra pay. We had a facepainting table set up for the crowd of people we never got, so I took the liberty of decorating myself.

Bored:














Border still:














BORDEST:















In case you're wondering why I have no patriotic designs, I originally drew a flag on my left hand. Then I washed it off to make a space for Pacman. That's American is it not?